A Zero Balancing Session

A felt sense of being met and held

This is the third reflection in a series of personal accounts of receiving Zero Balancing. This one recounts my second pure ZB session, received at the end of the first day of a four-day workshop in Austin, Texas.

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Context

It was late morning on a Thursday in early spring in Austin. I was driving my little green Fiat down Burnet Road, on my way to the Lauterstein–Conway Massage School to attend the first workshop in a four-part Zero Balancing series.

I was feeling relatively calm and collected—excited, even—when my phone rang through the car’s wireless system.

It was my mom.

I was startled. My mom usually only calls when she needs something. We have a complicated relationship. I remember answering, saying hello, and telling her I was on my way to a workshop. I don’t remember what the call was about—only that when we hung up, my nervous system felt rattled and I was suddenly on edge.

In the parking lot at the school, I did what I knew how to do at the time. I pulled myself together. Put on my game face. I was ready to learn.

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Entering the room

The classroom energy felt like a mix of nerves, excitement, and something softer—as if we were being held by a larger field. There were twenty-four participants, all there for the first day, all carrying first-day jitters.

David Lauterstein and Sheila Palmer, long-time Zero Balancing practitioners and teachers, were leading the workshop. They had arranged it so that over the four days, each participant would receive a full Zero Balancing session—either from them or from experienced practitioners who volunteered their time.

At the end of that first day, my number was chosen in the lottery to receive a session from Sheila Palmer.

Sheila is a powerhouse of a Texan woman—big curly hair, grounded and centered, with a voice that carries resonance. I remember hearing her speak earlier that day and feeling something land in my chest. I remember thinking, Someday, I want to be like her.

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Where my mind was

My mind felt scattered. Between the intensity of the first workshop day and the phone call with my mom, my energy felt jagged and erratic. I remember wondering if I could really do this—if this workshop was something I had the capacity for.

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Where my body was

At the time, I didn’t have language for it. Looking back, I can see that my body was in a state of dysregulation.

I felt internally buzzy. Anxious in a way that lived more in my body than in my thoughts. There was a general sense of something’s wrong, without clarity about what.

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Where my heart was

My heart felt split in two.

One part of me was fully here—excited to be on this new path, in a room with others who were ready to explore deeper layers of healing in their own practices.

The other part of my heart was still with my mom, holding her fear and anxiety, carrying what had been stirred up by the call.

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The session

We checked in briefly before I lay down. I don’t remember exactly what I said—only that I told her I didn’t feel safe.

She met me with gentleness and compassion. She listened without rushing. Then she invited me to lie down on one of the six tables set up in the room.

I was nervous, but I was ready. It felt like I was there and not there at the same time.

I remember her intentional touch along my skeleton. After a few minutes, a wave moved through me and I broke into deep, uncontained sobbing. Big tears rolled down my face. An ugly cry. A release that felt larger than words.

Eventually, my body settled.

As the session was coming to a close, Sheila sat at the head of the table with her hands resting on my shoulders and asked me to check in with my body—to see if there were any places asking for a second visit before she finished.

I noticed right away:
the back of my heart,
my left knee,
and a tingling sensation at the tips of my left toes.

I told her. She nodded, and as she closed the session—beginning at my head—she returned to each place I had named. She ended with a half-moon vector at my feet.

Then she removed her hands and left me on the table to settle.

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What I noticed

When I eventually stood up, I felt calm and grounded. More inside my body than I had been when I walked into the classroom that morning.

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Afterward

I remember feeling deeply grateful that I had been chosen to receive a session at the end of the first day. That session settled my body and mind in a way that allowed me to relax into the workshop and feel more confident moving forward.

I didn’t know then what I know now about nervous system states. But that session was my first experience of a Zero Balancing session that directly shifted my state of being.

My time with Sheila—on and off the table—and what moved through me in that space left me with a clear felt sense of being met and held, exactly as I was.

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jenuine bodywork  

connecting heart to bone 💚